


You Need a Hand to Hold

by Ymae



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: ... hard, AgentCorp, F/F, Kara makes an appearance, Lames is mentioned but they break up, Lena still doesn't know she's Supergirl, Lena's point of view, Some fighting, also Alex is a badass, and Alex is falling for her, and she's falling for Alex, in a limbo after 4x06 where James didn't get kidnapped, it's getting a little ridiculous though, soft Lena, some soft Alex too
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-04
Updated: 2018-12-04
Packaged: 2019-09-07 12:05:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,929
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16853650
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ymae/pseuds/Ymae
Summary: Alex saves Lena from someone hired to kill her. It finally makes them see what's been right in front of them all along.





	You Need a Hand to Hold

It all began with Alex Danvers saving her life.

It was a cliché, and an overused one. Lena Luthor was someone who, if in need of protection, hired and paid for her own. But the first time she’d met Alex, she’d saved her then, too, and the better Lena had gotten to know her, the more it began to dawn on her that a protector was just what Alex Danvers was. It was what made her a good partner to Supergirl, a great sister to Kara, a fantastic agent, an even better director, and it was what would make her the perfect mother.

It must make her an amazing girlfriend, too.

But how was Lena to know?

 

+

 

Lena sighed, shutting down her laptop and pushing herself out of her chair. “Eve!” she called. Before her assistant could enter the room, she added loudly, “leave early today. I’m going home.”

Lena waited a few minutes to hear Eve finishing up her things and wishing her a good weekend, then she stepped away from her desk and locked her office. 

The wind was chafing cold. Lena drew her coat tight around herself, cursing under her breath. Normally, she’d take her car and few security guys with her, but she figured since she was meeting up with Supergirl, she’d be protected well enough. 

It’d been such long two weeks. Thanksgiving, the Children of Liberty attacks, her fight with James—and in a few days, Eve had scheduled the first human experiments involving the Harun-El. 

Walking down the street, Lena vaguely recognized the person in a black coat coming towards her. It was Alex, her short hair blowing around her face, deep in thought and looking the exact way Lena felt.

Lena hesitated for a second. Alex was one of these weird people—Lena knew her through a mutual friend, they hung out a lot, and had occasionally shared emotional moments at the peak of a crisis. They knew a lot about each other’s lives without knowing each other all that well. 

All of a sudden, Alex looked up. It was impressive how quickly the fatigue slid from her face; it was almost better than Lena’s own face control skills, and it made her smile. The friends she was normally surrounded with, Eve, Kara, James, she loved to bits, but they were open books, and sometimes it was tiring to think that no one around her understood her need to hide her emotions sometimes. 

Lena lifted a hand to greet Alex, and the agent waved back. There was a moment of awkwardness where they were both just walking towards each other, then Lena’s phone buzzed in her jacket.

_KARA: Supergirl asks if you could move that business meeting to another day there’s a big fire or something :))_

Lena blew out a sigh, typing quickly,

_Sure. Wanna meet up?_

_KARA: Busy now. Later?_

“Sure,” Lena mumbled, feeling annoyance rising. She was just about to pocket her phone when a gunshot ringing nearby made her drop it. 

“Dammit!” 

Another gunshot made her flinch. She reached into her purse for her own gun but came up empty. 

The few people nearby were soon gone. Lena moved closer to the walls, away from the street, and began to run. 

Someone was following her.

She hardly dared look over her shoulder. There was another shot, even closer than the last, and she was quickly running out of breath. 

Someone pulled her into a house entrance, covering her mouth with a hand. Lena tried to kick her attacker in the stomach, but they caught her elbow and dodged her fists.

“Quiet,” Alex hissed into her ear.

Lena stopped struggling, and Alex released her from her grip immediately. They were both wide-eyed, Lena breathing hard; for a moment, they just stared at each other, wordlessly, until another gunshot broke the silence.

Alex’s face changed. She pushed back her hair and pulled out a gun. Then she reached into her boots, retrieving a long, slim knife. Her expression grim, she handed Lena the gun.

Lena inspected it critically. Her breathing had slowed, and she pushed herself off the rough surface of the wall, dusting off her coat.

“Shouldn’t you be using that?” she asked. 

Alex’s eyes softened. She twirled her knife, smiling as the metal reflected the sun. The expression on her face was almost one of glee; she smiled, dangerously and maybe a bit like a kid in a toy store, and pressed the gun into Lena’s hand. 

“Someone’s trying to kill you,” she replied, and it was weirdly touching how protective Alex sounded. Her fingers were still wrapped around the gun, which was resting in Lena’s hand, and it offered a strange intimacy. Her skin was ice cold, just like Lena’s; but it didn’t feel that way. Lena could suddenly hardly concentrate. She knew she wasn’t a generally very touchy person, but this was Alex. They knew each other. 

They were also barely ever alone with each other. 

“You don’t know who it is, right?” Alex proceeded, staring intensely at Lena as though she knew exactly what she was thinking. And as though she should disapprove, seeing as there was a murderer with a gun pursuing them, but didn’t care. She also didn’t retreat her hand. 

Lena roughly took the gun out of Alex’s hold, and got a grip on herself. “I don’t,” she admitted. With some suspicion she noticed that they hadn’t heard the gun in over a minute. “There’s about a million people who’d like to  kill me.”

“Know that feeling,” Alex affirmed, nodding. “Pretty sure it’s about you this time, though.”

Lena raised a brow. “You do? How’s that?” 

Alex smirked. “When  the guy ran past me, he screamed ‘where’s Lena Luthor,’ and when I wouldn’t tell him in which direction you’d left, he shot at me.” 

Wincing, Lena slowly ran her eyes over Alex’s body, trying to determine possible injuries. Alex was in civilian’s clothes; jeans, flannel shirt, black leather jacket. When Lena finally looked up to her face, Alex was regarding her with a confused look. 

“I’m fine,” she assured. “I dodged the bullet. I wish I’d taken him out, too, but I wasn’t fast enough.” 

“Well, good.” Lena nodded. “Supergirl’s busy, so we’ll have to handle this on our own.” 

“Yeah. I’d say it’s just a hitman, and a cheap one too. He let me distract him _and_ let me get away. If he’d just pursued you instead of trying to kill the woman with the flashy knife, he could’ve gotten to you.” Alex frowned at that, clearly disturbed at the thought. “Do you usually walk around the city without security?”

“You do, too,” Lena pointed out. 

“I’m a government agent. I can handle myself.” Alex held up the knife for emphasis. 

“Which is why I can take as many walks as I want,” Lena said cockily, flashing a smile. “I have the right friends.” 

Alex rolled her eyes but smiled back. “Bring a gun next time. They’re nice.”

Finally, another shot rang through the air, clearly closer this time. 

“Very _nice_ ,” Lena teased, gripping the gun a little tighter. Alex replied with a quick squeeze to her shoulder, pushing her back and stepping in front of her. 

“This should be fun.” Alex’s smile transformed into something vaguely dangerous, eyes hard, not unlike the face Lena had perfected, the one that made even Supergirl shudder. 

Oh, they’d make a great team.

Alex led the way, hurrying out of the entrance and shielding Lena with her body.

“Stay behind me.”

 

+

 

They were running down the street, their boots coming down hard on the asphalt. Lena gripping her gun, Alex with the knife tucked into her sleeve, they made a formidable combination—but seeing as they were out in the open, alone on the eerily vacant street, they also made perfect prey.

They’d switched places, so that Alex was behind Lena, closer to the attacker. Of the agent’s strategy, Lena wasn’t sure, but she didn’t find herself worrying. She might not know Alex perfectly on an intimate level, but she was still her friend. A friend she trusted with her life. 

“Can you go faster?” Alex hissed from behind. Her footsteps slowed, and Lena pushed down the urge to the do the same. She was almost entirely out of breath; after all, she was a businesswoman, perched behind a desk all day. Sports had never been a focal point of hers. 

What damn luck she’d had to have met Alex when she did.

If she hadn’t, she’d be dead.

Lena wasn’t usually so shaken up about near-death situations. She’d had to get used to it, to having that threat hanging over her constantly. But now, that Supergirl was, if not a friend anymore at least an ally, and now that she had people in her life she knew cared about her, it was somehow different. The thought of dying on the street, shot, alone, unnoticed, shocked her more than she should allow.

Well, she hadn’t died.

And now, though the hitman had almost closed up on them, no less a threat than before, she was fairly confident that today wasn’t the day. 

After all, it was clear that Alex had taken up a lot worse, even unprepared and practically without weapons.

“I don’t think so, no,” Lena gasped. Alex had stopped running entirely now, and Lena couldn’t help but turn around, skidding to a halt in the middle of the street. 

Alex noticed, giving her a quick nod, an all-teeth smile, eyes glinting. She shook the knife out of her sleeve. It had started snowing, Lena saw just now; tiny crystals melted on the blank metal surface. 

“Then go as fast as you can. The guy’s gun destroyed my phone, but it’s fine, I’ll distract him, you get away and hide. Or something. I’ll handle this,” Alex promised.

“At least take the gun with you.”

“Hey, Lena.” Alex seemed to pick up on Lena’s uneasiness, fully turning around to face her. “I know you’re not helpless. You can fight; you’ve fought Mercy, you shot the guy holding a gun to my head when we first met. It’s just you got your areas of expertise; this is mine. Believe me, I’ll be fine. You won’t have to worry about Kara killing you for letting me die, I promise.”

Lena chuckled, raising a brow. “Alex Danvers giving a pep talk? It’s like you switched roles. As though Kara could ever hurt anyone. She’s pure sweetness.”

Alex coughed, averting Lena’s eyes. “Right. And you gave me a pep talk last year in the DEO, which I guess you don’t often do either, so it’s only fair.”

“You looked like you needed one,” Lena retorted softly, remembering the distress Alex had been in; over losing Maggie, over wanting to be a mother, and juggling a pretty lethal job on top of all that. Lena wondered how she was doing now, with J’onn and Winn leaving, and becoming director of the DEO. She wondered why she’d never asked. Probably it just wasn’t what they did. 

The hitman came into sight.

“Hide!” Alex shouted at Lena, shoving her away. Lena’s feet responded automatically; pounding on the now wet asphalt, she scrambled to get away. Shots cut the air behind her, and she almost stumbled. She was still clutching the gun tightly.

Damn, she should’ve convinced Alex to take it. It was bringing a knife to a gunfight—literally. Even all the training in the world wouldn’t stop a bullet. 

Under these circumstances, Lena couldn’t just flee. When it came to her sister, Kara might be able to kill after all, and if she teamed up with Supergirl—Lena interrupted that train of thought. Alex wasn’t dying; there was another shot. The guy wouldn’t keep shooting if Alex were dead.

Lena detected a fire ladder, pressed to the side of a house. Quickly, she grabbed the metal rungs, climbing the ladder until she was on top, looking over the flat, snow-covered roof of a house. 

She inched to its edge, overseeing the empty streets. The snow was thicker now, swirling around her head, and blurring up her sight a little, but she could still see the scene playing out in front of her.

The hitman was firing blindly, with Alex dodging his bullets by inches at times. Lena’s breath hitched as she watched it, a macabre dance of life and death. She clutched her own gun tighter, a spotless, simple model, and pointed it at the fighters. But soon, she had to put it down. She couldn’t get a clean shot and absolutely couldn’t risk hitting Alex. 

So Lena sat crouched on the rooftop, cursing herself for dropping her phone, for not carrying a gun, for still believing in Supergirl’s reliability. For dragging Alex into this. She squeezed her eyes tightly shut. Lena Luthor wasn’t someone who stood idly by, who let others fight her battles for her. But Alex had this something, this way of smiling and way of looking at you like you’re worth protecting, until you believe it yourself, until you’re certain that she’s some sort of idiot hero who’s going to solve everything. Alex had this calm, inconspicuous way of convincing you that she’s actually bulletproof. This unrelentingly serious way of caring. 

When Lena opened her eyes a split second later, guilt churning in her gut, the fight had turned. Somehow Alex had gotten a hold of the guy’s arm, and the gun was a few feet away lying on the snow-covered ground. Her knife, Lena couldn’t spot. Alex and the hitman were now hand-to-hand combating, but he seemed to pull out weapons everywhere, spikes, knives, faster than the agent could render them all useless. Not to mention he was taller, stronger, packed with muscles. 

His weapons still all landed in the snow sooner or later, and though Alex ended up in a few chokeholds, it was barely a few minutes until she’d rendered him unconscious. Or dead, Lena didn’t care.

She sighed with relief, her eyes watery from one icy gust of wind or another. She closed her eyes briefly, opened them again to, still, the hitman lying passed out on the ground. As fast as she could, Lena climbed down the ladder, thankful for the boots Eve insisted she wear in the winter instead of her high heels. 

Lena’s feet were barely touching the ground, she was just about to hurry to Alex when the agent collapsed on the street.

Lena’s heart stopped, just for a single moment. 

She stumbled over herself running toward Alex, dropping down to her knees on the ice cold asphalt. Alex’s short hair was fanned out in the snow, gleaming weapons littering the area around her and the hitman. 

Lena felt Alex’s neck for a pulse. It was there, steady and warm, beating under her finger. Lena exhaled, willing her heartbeat to slow down. Everything was fine, everything was going to be fine. No one dead today. No one’s sister out on a killing spree. Everything was fine, damn, that had been a close one, but everything was fine. 

Lena gently pulled Alex’s head into her lap. A thin line of blood trickled down on her coat. Alex was still breathing, she reassured herself again. She still sat there, snow in her dark hair, fingers stroking Alex’s cold face, when Supergirl found them minutes later.

After a quick scan and determination that there were no internal injuries, the girl in red and blue promised, “I’m gonna get you and Director Danvers to Kara Danvers’ place now.” Her lip was  quivering , but Lena didn’t notice, had now taken to carefully brushing through Alex’s hair. 

Everything was going to be alright.

 

+

 

“I’m fine!” Alex yelled through the bathroom door for the hundredth time. 

“Your heart’s still racing though!” Kara shouted back, leaning on the door with a frown marking her face. She threw a quick look at the woman sitting on the couch. “Figuratively, I mean. Uh, you must still be so wired up from the whole fighting thing. Right?” 

“You know I’ve had much, _much_ worse—”

“Then why is your heartbeat still so sped up?”

“ _Kara,_ for God’s sake, think before you talk.” 

Kara covered her mouth with her hands, again looking worriedly over to the couch.

Lena hardly  registered the whole exchange. She was dressed in Kara’s sweats and a T-shirt, her wet clothes drying in the kitchen. Into her hand, Alex had pushed a glass of red wine, and Lena swirled the liquid around and around, barely noticing the red splashes that soon covered her gray sweatpants. 

She was composed as ever now. Maybe not quite as good as Alex, who’d woken up just as Supergirl had arrived at the apartment, promptly examined herself for injuries, determined nothing  serious but a mild concussion, and went showering. Not before downing a quarter of the bottle of red wine, of course. 

And Lena was fine.

She really was. She’d been closer to death before; on parts of airplanes and fighting with Mercy Graves and on a Daxamite ship ready to explode. She was used to channeling the adrenaline, smoothing out her clothes, and getting work done. She didn’t like being a silent observer when it came to fighting, that much was true; though she didn’t have the body strength to engage, usually she found some kind of weapon, an enhancement, a scientific miracle that helped her compete. She’d hated sitting on that snowy rooftop not being able to do anything but watch. She’d hated being unsure who’d come out of the situation alive. 

But that wasn’t quite it. She’d felt helpless, and she despised that more than most things; but that was just part of the conflict messing up her head.

Lena took a gulp of the wine. It wasn’t very good. Much too sweet for her taste. 

Kara was watching her carefully from across the room. Seeing Lena wince, she slowly walked over to her, slumping next to her on the couch.

Leaning her head on her hand, Kara looked at Lena softly. “Hey. How are you? Supergirl said it looked like quite the scene back there.”

Lena smiled. “Oh, I’m fine,” she assured. Kara was frowning at her, as though trying to detect a lie, and Lena took her hand, trying to convey her honesty with her eyes. Kara was the best friend she’d ever had. Quite possibly she’d had a crush on her when they first met, but that had blown over quickly as their relationship had deepened. 

Kara was sweet and genuine, and without her, she couldn’t have gotten through some of the things she’d gone through in the last years. And with Kara had come her whole, deeply crazy family; James, Winn, Nia, Brainy, Eliza, J’onn. Some of whom Lena was closer with, some she only knew in the passing… some she knew well but took for granted, who just came with knowing Kara, but who she’d come to appreciate—a lot.

Alex.

Kara’s head whipped around as the bathroom door opened, and she hurried to her sister. Alex and Kara hugged for long moments, both sisters closing their eyes, exchanging whispers, reassurances. Then Kara nodded, smiled again in Lena’s direction, and disappeared to the kitchen. 

Leaving Lena on the couch, and Alex in the middle of the room, dressed only in leggings and a flimsy top, her hair dripping wet.

“Hey.” Alex smiled softly and began to carefully dry her hair with a towel. 

For a moment, Lena didn’t respond. She was entranced by the slow motions of Alex’s hands, the water soaking part of her shirt. Her arms, muscled in a way so different from Supergirl, strength that was almost hidden. Lena just watched Alex dry her hair for a good minute, a smile playing around her lips. 

“Earth to Lena?” 

Alex had finished, tossing the towel behind her into the bathroom. She ran a hand through her short, damp hair, smirking a little. 

“Lena!”

Lena jumped, lifting her eyes to meet Alex’s gaze. Her hands gripped the wine glass tighter. She felt unusually flustered but decided to make the best of it. 

She slowly raised a brow. “Alex?” She ran her eyes over the agent’s body again, for show this time, but soon started to notice things she hadn’t before: dark bruises littered Alex’s arms, and her hands were even worse, with cuts from the hitman’s knives crisscrossing her palms. Where her top was riding up a little, Lena noticed that the bruises were covering Alex’s skin all the way to her stomach. Add to that the headache she must be feeling. 

Lena flinched. 

Alex frowned, the grin falling from her face, and she sat down on the couch next to Lena. Softly, she took Lena’s shaking hands into her own and set the wine glass down on the table. 

“Hey, you okay?”

Lena shook her head, winding her fingers out of Alex’s hold. “I’m fine, thanks to you. But you should have taken that gun.”

Alex snorted. “Yeah. And what if I’d failed? If that guy had knocked me out? You’d have had nothing to defend yourself.” She met Lena’s gaze with stone-hard determination. “Hey, I know those bruises look bad. But some of those aren’t even from today. I’m constantly out in the field; the only difference earlier was that I wasn’t in uniform.” 

Lena sighed. Alex’s hand still lay beside her on the couch, palms up; Lena offered her own again, and their fingers intertwined. Both their hands were still ice cold. Lena’s hands were always cold—probably Alex was just the same kind of person.

The touch was nice anyway. 

A little uncomfortable, because something fluttered in Lena’s chest that she absolutely couldn’t use now in these times of crisis, but warm, and nice, and more intimate than simple hand-holding between friends probably should be. 

“I’m okay,” Alex repeated, looking at their entwined hands with something of a confused frown. 

“I’m okay, too,” Lena answered earnestly. “Thank you again for the save.”

Alex smiled. Lena didn’t think she’d seen her smile this much in the past weeks, and probably Alex thought the same of her. 

“Anytime.”

Before Lena could react to that—softly, perhaps, or teasingly—Kara shouted from the kitchen, “sorry to interrupt you guys, but Lena, someone wants to talk to you. He’s been worried because you didn’t reply to his messages.” Kara stepped closer to them, regarding them with a curious look but holding up her phone. “It’s James!” 

 

+

 

Lying in bed that night, Lena tried to distract herself from her circling thoughts.

The fight she’d had with James—again. How she hadn’t even gotten to tell him about the attempted murder. No, that wasn’t quite right; how she hadn’t even  _wanted_ to tell him about it at all. How it’d felt like he’d be intruding into something that was just between Lena and her friends and Supergirl. How guilty she’d felt through the rage, because James was her  _boyfriend_ —or at least she supposed they were still together. Honestly, she just felt exhausted at the thought. 

After their fight in the night of the Children of Liberty’s attacks, Lena had felt empty. For one of the first times in her life, she’d thought she had so much love to give; and then it turned out James didn’t want it, and Lena started to question if it’d ever really been love at all. 

She’d clung to him and protected him, but not out of love. They’d begun a relationship out of mutual attraction, which was a reason as good as any other, and it’d been comfortable, and James had been understanding, and good-willed, and intriguing enough; but Lena started to feel as though this wasn’t a relationship she had the will to fight for. She’d been very willing to fight for  _being loved_ at all, but she wasn’t as lonely anymore as she’d been when she’d first moved to National City. She had friends now. She had a place to belong. 

She still had a lot of love to give, though. That was a new thing; in previous times, she’d locked up the part of her that wanted to  _love_ just as badly as being loved, and hardened it, and turned it to stone, and buried it deep inside in a little box just behind her heart. 

Now, that box was open, and soft, and its contents were fluttering excitedly. But that new feeling, that second heartbeat, it wasn’t because of James. 

Lena turned around in her bed. Tossed three of the five pillows to the floor. Snuggled into the rest. Stared into the darkness. She tried to sleep. 

Her thoughts came back to her, noisily cutting through the dark, as though they’d never left.

She pushed them down. She’d have to tell James… soon. But was it too cruel, throwing in a break-up right into the middle of one of the biggest crises in his career? He was fighting so hard, fighting so recklessly, for something he believed in. Lena believed in a lot of things, but her fights were always quieter. More calculated, or more messy, but definitely more alone. She couldn’t break up with him. She couldn’t be alone again.

But she wasn’t. She had Kara, and… other people. Being with James had made her feel better for a little while, but ultimately, the initial attraction had started to look less shiny, and it all felt a little childish now.

She was going to break up with him. If it was cruel, well, she could be a cruel woman. James knew that. Everyone did.

But how to stop her circling thoughts?

Lena turned around again, picked up a pillow from the ground, and stuffed it over her head. The coolness of the fabric didn’t stop her spinning mind, but suddenly, all thoughts of James were swept away, replaced by something else. The sky, breaking open, wind and snow going down on the ground. Alex, lying amidst it on the dirty street. Alex… stepping out of the bathroom, dripping wet, her hand in Lena’s hand, cool skin, warm touch.

Damn.

Damn  _it._

Alex’s wet hair, clinging to her face, her top, clinging to her skin. How it had felt to run down the street together, breathless. How absolutely safe Lena had felt, not because of the gun in her hand, but because Alex was there, because she was focused, and committed, and because she wasn’t leaving. Because she wasn’t judging. Because she wasn’t entirely trusting—had never been, it wasn’t who Alex was, and certainly wasn’t recommended in her line of work—but because she knew  _when_ to trust, and when to leap, and when to be hard, and when to be soft. 

Alex in that leather jacket, talking fast and sure.

Alex, with whom Lena was almost never alone, because she was Kara’s sister, because they were friends, but not close. Alex, with whom Lena suddenly  _wanted_ to be alone, who she wanted to talk to, to get to know better. To be more than just a distant friend. Heck, to be more than a friend, Lena wasn’t stupid. Lena had learned long ago that lying to everyone else was a necessity, but lying to herself always turned out for the worse. 

But this was physical attraction again, she thought. It’d been the same thing with James. Alex was crazy attractive, and she was just noticing that for the first time. Lena wasn’t falling for her, just as she hadn’t been falling for James. All she felt was physical attraction, sure, a little harder than usual, and maybe it felt a little different than it had with James, but that was just because her crushes on women always felt different than those on men. Besides, Alex was Kara’s sister, and had never shown any signs of the attraction being mutual. 

Attraction.

Lena didn’t fall for people like this. She didn’t fall very hard, or fast, and never too intense. 

It was just the night, the darkness creeping into her head and rearranging her thoughts. Tomorrow, it’d all clear up. Maybe she wouldn’t even want to break up with James. Maybe the adrenaline from the day would finally have filtered from her blood, and she and Alex would just forget about the whole incident, go back to being part of a larger group.

Lying to herself always turned out for the worse. Of course it did.

Good, then, that it wasn’t what Lena Luthor was doing at all.

 

+

 

The days ticked by. Work consumed all of Lena’s time, as it always had. The Harun-El project was moved a few weeks down the line so Lena and Eve could take their time to make a proper selection from the applicants. Lena was already nearly certain of her test subject of choice, but she’d sit on the decision for a few days, acutely aware that her pick would quite literally border the line between life and death.

Her late-night rush had indeed felt flat in the morning, and so she chose to simply remove herself from her love-life equation, and not change anything about the situation. 

It wasn’t a glorious life, but as content as it had always been, risky only in the scientific parts of it, where the hazard belonged. Where—

“Hey, Lena.” 

—where there would be no one pulling at parts of her she’d long since left to rot. 

Lena turned around in her chair just in time to see Alex Danvers casually stroll into her office.

Alex picked at her potted plants, walked up to some of L Corp’s newest tech on display, eyes narrowing in appreciative examination, and finally stood before Lena’s desk, that smirk  playing  at the edge of her lips. 

_That_ smirk. 

“Alex,” Lena replied, caught off-guard, and rose from her seat.

“How are you?”

“Fine,” Lena said so quickly she cringed inside.

She was the CEO of a powerful company that brought never-before-seen products on the market. She was exceptionally smart, and eloquent, and when it came to dating, usually the smooth one, amusing herself with her partner’s barely comprehensible ramblings. But sure, she thought sarcastically to herself, find one woman attractive and throw all that out of the window. 

“Yeah, and really?” Alex made herself comfortable on the sofa in the middle of Lena’s office, adjusting the holster strapped around her waist, a heavy DEO-issue skillfully adjusted for the jeans and plaid shirt she was wearing. She stared at Lena expectantly. 

Busying herself with rearranging the papers on her desk, Lena huffed. “How did you get through my security?” And what did she think, barging into her office like that, without warning? Like… like Kara did? Like both sisters had always done?

Why did it bother her now, all of a sudden?

Alex flashed her badge, FBI written across it in bold letters, and grinned. Lena scowled, and made a show of her deep displeasure, dramatically pushing her papers around on her desk, but Alex just pocketed the badge and stretched her arms. 

If the injuries that had been covering them mere days ago still hurt, she wasn’t letting it show. 

“You see, no reason not to answer my question.”

“What question would that be?”

“How are you?”

Lena massaged her forehead. As was the consequence of avoiding people, no one had asked her that in days. Truthfully, her little boxes of emotions were all upside down these days, something she’d meant to fix before the human experiments started.

A few seconds into the silence, Alex nodded. She stood, retrieved a small batch of neatly rolled-up files from her pocket, and put them down on Lena’s desk. Lena lifted her eyes, making a small, exhausted sound, and Alex’s eyes softened. 

“We found out who hired the killer,” she explained, pointing to the files. “It’s no one important, I’d say. There’s also some information on the evidence I could gather in there. If you want to press charges, I think we’ve got enough on the guy.” 

“Thank you,” Lena replied quietly. 

Alex nodded, wringing her hands together, before she walked around the desk and took Lena’s arm. She ignored Lena’s words of protest, and with an effortless strength that should not come as a surprise after all this time, pulled her to the couch and made her sit.

“You work too much,” Alex informed her with a dry smile. 

“Says Director Danvers ‘those bruises could be from any time, and there’s a bed in the DEO with my name on it.” 

“It used to be J’onn’s room, and he lived there for over a decade.”

Lena snorted, relaxing into the soft leather of the couch. How many evenings she’d spent here drinking, celebrating one holiday or another, until the Danvers had come along. Still, she slept at home at least half of the time, unlike Alex, as she gathered from Kara’s frequent  complaints . 

“Nobody’s saying you have to follow his legacy—”

“This isn’t about me,” Alex interrupted, smiling at Lena in a way that made her skin itch, made her feel as though she was under scrutiny. 

Which she supposed she was, Alex’s brilliant brain surely picking up on every little clue, every shadow behind Lena’s eyes, every hair out of place, just the way Lena did when she was in examination mode. It was unsettling, she’d give people that; and yet, something told her that this wasn’t Alex in full Agent Danvers mode. After all, the eyes lingering on her face weren’t judgmental in any way. 

When Lena gave into it, relaxed and just went with the two of them silently sitting next to each other on this couch, it actually wasn’t unnerving anymore. Alex regarded her with the eyes of a friend, open and almost gentle, and something inside Lena wanted to read more into it, like a desire she never knew she’d had. 

“This is about you,” Alex said eventually, turning away her eyes, and Lena missed her soft stare already. “About you, and how you’re feeling.” 

“Are you still sticking to that question?” Lena replied, well aware that she was eluding yet again. “Why do you care so much, anyway?” 

Alex smiled, almost insecurely, tilted her head to the side so her hair was covering half her face, and opened her mouth. 

Lena waited, for the first time in this conversation seeing an opportunity to take a closer look at Alex. There was a slight color to the agent’s cheeks, if from the cold outside or the heat inside or something else entirely was unclear, and for the first time, Lena realized that Alex wasn’t just attractive. No, sitting here searching for words for why she’d come to Lena’s office at a random afternoon to ask her how she was, Alex was well and truly beautiful. 

Lena’s phone buzzed. 

“Dammit,” Lena and Alex blurted at the same time, and looked at each other, smirking. 

Alex was still so goddamn beautiful, Lena didn’t know how she hadn’t seen it before.

She pulled her phone out of her pocket and cast a quick glance at the display.

James.

Of course, after four radio-silent days, it would be James, right here, right now.

It was a long message.

Forgetting the woman on the other end of the couch, Lena scrolled through it. James wrote he hadn’t wanted to do this by phone, but hadn’t been able to get a hold of her for days. Well, Lena thought flippantly, true, but shouldn’t that not surprise him, being her boyfriend?

Or apparently, not anymore. Lena’s mood dropped as she read on. Despite everything, he still wrote so well; he found good words,  frustration only shining through at some parts of the message, but that did nothing to soften the impact. He’d thought it all over, and he was really very sorry, and he did love her, but he didn’t think they were a good fit. 

They were all words that Lena had thought before, but somehow they seemed cruel and flat, blinking at her from the small screen.

She wrote back, because what else to do? She wrote back how full-heartedly she agreed, how it was for the best, mentioned a few of the good times they’d had together, how she appreciated that he’d stood by her side through some difficult times. Then she deleted half of it. Typed out how hurt she was, but how she should’ve seen it all coming. Deleted that, too. The reply that remained sounded stilted and cold even to her, supporting him in all the things he’d said, but the gist was there. They would break up. They were broken up. He could think her heartless, it would probably only affirm him in his decision. 

Exhausted, Lena hadn’t noticed the tears slowly spilling down her cheeks until she tasted the salt on her lips. She threw her phone to the ground, where it skidded under her desk, out of her sight. Then she lifted her head. 

Alex was looking at her from the other end of the couch, her eyes so soft they might break.

“Lena—”

“Don’t,” Lena whispered tiredly.

“Don’t do what?”

“Pity me. It’s unnecessary. It’s only a breakup, nothing more.”

Alex bristled. “I wasn’t going to pity you. You’d just kill me like I would.” That drew a small smile out of Lena, and Alex’s eyes shone. “I was just going to ask how you’re feeling.” 

Lena lifted a brow at that. “Again?”

“You never did answer the question.” When Lena remained just as silent as before, Alex nodded pensively. “Fine, then answer me this one: Do you love him?”

“Who?”

“Oh, you know who.”

“I liked being in a relationship with him.” Lena bit her lip and looked at Alex, and it was easy to sort her feelings under Alex’s soft curiosity. “It felt like… I haven’t been in one for some time. I just… It just felt good to be respected, I suppose.” 

Lena had indeed not been in a lot of relationships. Some, sure, over the years, but never very seriously, and never lasting. And, strangely, though she’d known about her bisexuality for as long as she could remember, she’d never been in a relationship with a woman. Partly it was because she knew her mother would just love to have one more reason to criticize her. Partly because being out wasn’t recommendable in her line of business; she had enough enemies being a Luthor and being a woman without adding  homophobic jerks to the list. Kara knew, of course, James did, Eve had probably picked up on it by now, but Lena wasn’t keen on making it public. 

Did Alex know?

Kara shared everything with Alex but, and only when it came to friends, sometimes she could keep a secret. 

Alex looked at her, and suddenly Lena—and it might be wishful thinking, but she was very sure Alex knew. 

“You deserve so much more,” Alex said, suddenly, quietly, almost whispering.

Lena smiled through the sheen of her tears, stuttering, “Excuse me?”

Alex inched closer to Lena until their legs were almost touching, and then she leaned her head on the couch, looking up to Lena, and reached out with her hand. It was becoming something of a habit, almost, their hands touching, cold on cold but getting warm, a habit Lena wouldn’t mind keeping forever. This exact moment stretching out into eternity. 

“You deserve someone who respects you, yes,” Alex affirmed, gesturing with her free hand, “but also someone who excites you, who makes you laugh. Someone thoughtful who lights up your day.” She smiled hesitantly at Lena, almost unbearably sincere. “You deserve someone who calls you out when you’re making crap decisions without being hurtful. Someone you _want_ to be honest with and who won’t make fun of you for that. You deserve… someone who supports you. You deserve someone who holds you when you’re scared, and someone to be scared with. But you deserve someone who isn’t perfect. Someone tangible.” 

Alex’s eyes were bright, and they both looked away at the same moment, caught up in each other so deeply that it was almost too much. Lena shifted, and their thighs were touching, warm skin to warm skin through thin layers of fabric.

“You deserve someone who loves you. Someone who makes you—oh, fuck it.” Alex gripped on tighter to Lena’s hand and leaned in. Her eyes met Lena’s briefly as she paused before her face, wide and worried, asking if this was alright—and Lena closed her eyes, and it was all just split seconds, really, and then Alex fully leaned in, and their lips met, and there was a kiss. 

It was so slow and gentle that Lena felt herself melt. She felt herself unwinding, and she finally got to taste Alex’s lips, finding herself wanting  _more, so much more,_ and she felt Alex sighing into their kiss, and smiled. Lena’s free hand reached out and got a hold of Alex’s shirt, her other hand still entwined with Alex’s. Their kiss transformed, hungry and passionate, and  _finally,_ something vibrating  inside her was satisfied. 

She had, after all, been waiting long enough.

 

+

 

“I cannot believe this just happened.”

“Well, _I_ can’t believe it only happened now.”

Lena laughed.

“You’re so insanely cute.”

“And you’re beautiful.” Alex looked at her dreamily, the two of them wedged beside each other on the couch, her carefully tracing the lines on Lena’s face. “You’re crazy beautiful, you know that?” 

Lena turned fully, so she was facing Alex, and kissed her softly. “Then we’re a perfect match.” 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! I'd absolutely love some kudos & reviews to know how I did :)


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